oooh lah lah.. i like it!

Unhappy

Posted by: OLLie on: May 9, 2008

Was unhappy for the past few days.

Without a goal in life (’cause of the hols, and taking the intersem is cutting off my options of getting a job), with so many changes happening around me, plus the feeling that I’m always the one that gotta give in to everything for the benefit of everyone..

.. I got tired.

The past few days I was feeling so miserable thinking why the hell am I always the mediator? Why cant someone else be the mediator? Why cant someone else give in for a change instead of OLLie being the one giving in all the time?

I go everywhere, and everybody in the family tells me this:

“OLLie, you guai ok. Don’t make a fuss. Just give in. Listen to your Mom. Don’t give her stress.”

or

“OLLie, I know things are hard for you now. But just give in to them and things would be alright.”

I am freaking 22 years old. I know what the hell should I do, and what the hell should I not do. I have been freaking giving in all the freaking time, and I’m guai, thank you very much. There’s no need to ask me to be guai.

And to freakingly ask someone who is 22 to be guai is so damn…. dots.

I have been bearing with all these changes, giving in to this, to that, to everything.. till I don’t even feel like I’m home when I’m at home.

When someone starts grumbling why do we all have to make so much changes, I’m the one who have to remain upbeat and convinced the person that it’s for the benefit of everyone instead of agreeing that yeah, it’s damn troublesome.

When someone is unhappy about something, I’m the one that gotta go cheer the person up even though I’m rather unhappy too.

That’s the result of being guai. Everybody has this expectation of you doing the right things always. You don’t even get the chance to vent, or express your displeasure and unhappiness.

But anyway, I’m adapting. I’m still giving in. I’m still cheering people up.. with several breakdowns myself.

Sigh.

Going out with my cousin today for a good dinner + mindless crapping + playing a late night basketball helped in releasing all the stress and unhappiness.

Yeah, I’m ready to continue with more mediating.

And please, don’t tell me to have a mind of my own and start not giving in. The situation cannot have everyone being so stubborn and refusing to give in. I have a mind of my own, just that I know what my priorities are.

So don’t judge me.

And to all the horrid stuff happening? Bring it on darlings. =)

8 Responses to "Unhappy"

Time to get a man in your life!

Babe, this is life.. ppl always want someone else to change to suit them.. Gambate.. dont be sad, k?

strange that u are the one giving in when u are not the eldest…

girl. jiayou!! anything, can come talk to me ok =)

Oh no..I don’t know what’s going on. But..*hugs*

If you need someone to vent out your frustrations, I’m here too.

JayWalk: Erm, I don’t get it. What does having a man in my life has anything to do with all the giving in?

jas: Sigh. I know. Thanks alot. =))

weige: Eh, I found that strange too. But usually it’s the middle child that gets it all. Isn’t it?

yannie: Thanks girl. I wanna meet youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

addict: =)))) I’m fine le. Thanks so much. =))

i read somewhere that the middle child is the one that is neglected…

well, i have a younger brother, and he gets away with bloody murder all the time, while i get all the blame, the worrying why my parents willingly let my brother take advantage of them, etc…

weige: Ah. Yeah, that’s normally the case. My younger sis gets away with everything and anything too. Sigh.

But at least you are the eldest ar. So things shouldnt be that bad la. =))

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